Diary of a Small Brown Dog

Saturday, July 7^th

We were left to fend for ourselves once more this morning.  After breakfast, of course.  And after we’d done a brief perimeter patrol.  The humans said something about a market and not wanting to have dogs pulling out of them – I don’t know what they could possibly mean by that!

We don't mind being left behind so much now.  We climb onto the table where the humans eat their food and we can sit and look out of the window.  A lot of cars, people, dogs and even cats go by, but we scare them all away with our ferocious barking.  We are dangerous and they know it!

The humans must have felt guilty about leaving us, and they came back for us after a short while.  We all went off in the hot, stinky jeep.  We ended up in a place I remembered, the ground was very red, but it was much hotter this time.  It was nice, though, the red ground is interesting.  I like looking at it.

The humans had ice cream.  I tried hypnosis again.  I think I’m getting quite good at it now.  Ice cream is very nice.

 I AM HYPNODOG....

YOU WILL OBEY ME....

DROP FOOD....

I AM HYPNODOG....

YOU WILL OBEY ME....

DROP FOOD....

I AM HYPNODOG....

YOU WILL OBEY ME....

DROP FOOD....

Aw hell, I'll get it myself

Sunday, July 8^th

Today was…different.  The humans went away for ages and ages, but they took Cookie with them.  And me? I got to stay in our “proper” house!  It was great!  The humans who are there now are really nice and I got lots of cuddles, plenty of food and (shhhhh!) I was allowed to cuddle up with them on the couch.  The cats and Poppy stayed out of my way all day, which was fine by me!
I'm now curled up in my bedroom with Poppy.  It's very late.  My humans are still missing.  I hope they are ok.

Monday, July 9th

I am still in our “proper” house.  No sign of Cookie and the humans, but I don't care anymore.  The humans here are great.  I think I will stay with them forever! 

Today I found a big box of dog toys – lovely chewy things and balls with fur on (well they used to have fur on, sorry Poppy) so I buried loads of them in my bed to keep forever.  Unfortunately, the humans spotted them and took them out.  I will have to work on my burying skills.

What’s that noise? Oh, it’s the jeep.  Damn, it’s the humans and Cookie.  I will have to pretend to be happy to see them.  Ok, here we go, ears pricked, tail wagging, sparkly eyes….

Tuesday, July 10^th

We had a very quiet day today.  The humans said they went out “for a walk” but I don’t believe them – there is no way they would dare to go for a walk without us.  Cookie and I sat on the table and scared people away from our house all morning.  Then we did a very short perimeter patrol around the streets of Céreste late in the afternoon.  All was well.

Wednesday, July 11^th

Another trip to the lake!  More swimming!  I love swimming now!

Cookie was not so keen, although she swam a bit at the start.  Then she stood on a rock and refused to move.  

I climbed up beside her to tell her how much fun I was having in the water, so she pushed me back in.  A bit cheeky, I think. 

The humans continued to try to encourage her into the water, but she suddenly pulled back and wriggled out of the harness.  What a clever trick!  I must try to figure it out!

Anyway, it seems she wanted to play chasing, not swimming.  She ran around and around, through the woods, down to the water, back up the little beach, leapt over a man who was lying in the sun (he was a bit surprised the first time, but got used to it after a few times), and back into the woods…. again and again and again. 

The humans were having so much fun with me that they refused to play chase with her.

She was a bit put out by this and redoubled her efforts, even climbing into a tree a little bit to try to entice them closer, but it still didn’t work.  I was clearly much more interesting than her, especially when one of the humans and I picked up a scent under some rocks.  I think it was lizard – maybe even one of the ones with no legs!  It was fascinating!  Even Cookie wanted to see what it was, so she came over too, but the fun ended quickly when She-human grabbed Cookie by the neck and said “Gotcha!”

They kept Cookie on a short leash after that.  Cookie was still laughing after all her fun, though.

Thursday, July 12^th

We decided to stay at home and relax today.  I love the sun and the warmth now!  I like to lie on the balcony in the sun and get really hot, then I like to come back into the cool house and get cold again.

The humans got ice-creams later on.

I AM HYPNODOG....

YOU WILL OBEY ME....

DROP FOOD....

I AM HYPNODOG....

YOU WILL OBEY ME....

DROP FOOD....

I AM HYPNODOG....

YOU WILL OBEY ME....

DROP FOOD....

or just hand it to me....

Yum!  I love it here now.  I hope we are staying here forever.

Friday, June 13^th

I’ve got a really bad feeling.  The humans have been packing and tidying all day, so that there are no nice brown and white hairs to be seen anymore.  Maybe they are going away without us!  I’d miss them, but it would be ok if we could stay in our other house with the nice people there.

Later on, we were taken to a Vet.  I found the place where all the dog-food in the world is stored...

bags and bags of it!

I didn’t have enough time to open a bag, though, we had to go in to talk to the Vet.  He held the white bleeping wand over my head, looked in my eyes and ears  and mouth and held the cold coin tubing thing to my chest.  He talked to the humans about me having a heart murmur… I’m not sure what that is.  Cookie doesn’t have one, though.  Lucky me!

I remember previous Vet visits like this.  They were all followed by a long drive. Sigh.

I hope there won’t be any more prison cells on Ferryships.

Saturday, June 14^th

Yes, there was a long drive ahead of us.  It wasn’t as hot as the last time though.  The humans put our bed in the middle part of the car and hung a thing on the window which blocked the sun.  I like to see out, though, but I could put my head behind it and look, so it was ok.

We slept a lot.

Then we arrived in the same place we stayed before, where all four of us slept in one room.
We ate with lots of other people.  I like it when we do that.  I work my hypnosis on the other people in the room to try to make them drop food.

I AM HYPNODOG....

YOU WILL OBEY ME....

DROP FOOD....

Sometimes it works, but not today.

Sunday, June 15th.
More driving.  We slept.

Then, as I feared, incarceration in the Ferryship.  No, humans!  Don't go! We hate it here!

Where to now, I wonder?

Diary of a Small Brown Dog

Thursday, June 28th

Cookie and I are once again incarcerated in the stinking bowels of the Ferryship.  What have we done to deserve this?  I can only assume that our humans are being detained in a similar manner.  And speaking of stinking bowels, didn't anyone discuss CONTROL with that bloodhound that was locked up in the cell beneath us.  ICK!

Friday, June 29th

We were released from prison - hooray!  A long drive ensued, but we've ended up in much nicer accommodation tonight - we have a whole room to share with our humans.  Dammit, why can't they understand that a large bed is essential for a small brown dog? 

Saturday, June 30th

After many long hours spent in the noisy, stinky, hot jeep, with occasional breaks to allow the humans fetch water for us, we arrived at our destination.  I knew at once where I was - this is where we spent the winter!  But our house is at the other end of the village - silly humans have brought us to the wrong house!  This one smells funny!  And there are no cats for Cookie to play with!

Sunday, July 1st

The house still smells funny, but the couch is nice and comfy to sleep on!  Nearly as good as a human bed!  It's getting nicely coated with brown and white hairs too - me and Cookie are doing our best to make it feel like home.  Speaking of home, this place (Céreste, the humans call it) has changed.  It's warmer but much much wetter.  It's pretty much just like our normal home where it rains all the time.

Monday, July 2nd

We were left behind!  Abandoned in a strange place! What could we do but bark and howl our despair out to the world?  Then the humans arrived back with "shopping" and all was well once again.  We even got them to take us for a walk later on - that's me, right at the bottom of the photo :

The rain here has stopped and it's warm.  Much warmer than I'm used to.  It's a bit tiring.

Tuesday, July 3rd

What a great start to the day!  We got out with the humans early and ran a perimeter patrol to the north of Céreste.  Well, I ran.  The humans and Cookie walked.  I had to stop and catch my breath sometimes, though.

And then... we were abandoned!  Again!  This is terrible.  What do they think they are doing?  

They came back.  Eventually.  I am a very unimpressed small brown dog.  

Wednesday, July 4th

BEST. DAY. EVER.  

We stuck with them for the whole day!  First of all we all went for a really great walk.  We ended up by a river, and I was going in for my usual paddle, when one of the humans spotted a ball.     

I like balls.  I like to rip off their green fur, although I have not yet managed to disembowel one - but I digress.

The human cleverly retrieved the ball, and then promptly threw it back into the water. Silly human!  What could I do?  I tried to paddle out to it but it was too deep and I found myself swimming.  Swimming is weird and a bit scarey - it's like you're walking but there's no ground underneath you.  Thoroughly un-natural.  I quickly looped back to the shore and assessed the situation.

I really wanted to retrieve that ball (even though I am not a retriever per se) so I tried from another angle...

 I ended up swimming...

but I was so close to the ball that I managed to grab it and swim back to shore with it!

Yes!  In my mouth!  I have never in all my life done that before!  I was so proud of myself and so happy to have rescued the ball!

The rest of the day was mostly spent in the noisy, stinky and rather hot jeep.  We did have one nice break though, we went to a Café where we are well known and were recognised immediately.  I spent most of lunchtime working on my hypnosis skills. 

I AM HYPNODOG....
YOU WILL OBEY ME....
DROP FOOD....

I AM HYPNODOG....

YOU WILL OBEY ME....

DROP FOOD....

It's not working.  I must be doing something wrong.

Thursday, July 5th
Another truly brilliant day! Yes, we spent a lot of time in the hot, stinky jeep, but we got a great walk in as well!
We ended up by a lake.

The water was so cool!

I got to practise swimming again.

I'm really starting to like it.

I even retrieved a stick.

It was great!
Cookie doesn't like it so much, though.  Ha! I am so much cooler than she is!

Friday, July 6th
Another great walk today!  This time it was a perimeter patrol to the East of Céreste.  The humans stopped for a food break along the way, and I tried hypnosis again.

I AM HYPNODOG....

YOU WILL OBEY ME....

DROP FOOD....

It's starting to work!  They gave us both some nuts!  They were yummy!

The walk was pretty hot and there was no swimming today, so Cookie and I settled down to snooze the afternoon away in the cool house.  We didn't mind so much when the humans went out and left us.  Who wants to spend hours in a hot stinky jeep?  And anyway, this place is starting to smell pretty good now.  There's lots and lots of nice brown and white hairs all over the place now.

"A small brown dog is an essential piece of kit for giving perspective in photographs."  What can she possibly mean by that?

I spent the afternoon mulling this over in between naps. 

I still don't understand.

Holiday Fun - not!

The original aim of this trip to Provence was to find a house we could rent for a year.  Then when the owners of La Belle Cour, the house we rented last winter, returned, they offered us their house - a perfect arrangement, as far as we were concerned, as we knew the house and its quirks well at that stage.  We were already looking forward to a July visit to Provence, though, so we decided to turn it into a two week holiday, spend time looking for a livery yard with an arena where Aero and Flurry could live outdoors, but mostly just relax and enjoy Lavender Time in Provence.

Life happens, and unfortunately plans changed - a business opportunity arose which our potential landlords could not let pass.  Initially we all thought it would still work out, although with a later time frame - we would start our year in January and not September - but on arrival in Céreste last week, we learned that even this was now impossible for them.  They were, of course, very apologetic and offered to assist us in our search for an alternative.  So our holiday reverted to being a house-hunting trip, along with being a livery hunting trip for the horses.

Initial searches on the internet proved mostly fruitless, although we did find one nice looking house in nearby Montfuron. An email was winged off, but days later we had still received no reply.  It seems that at this time of the year, with Provence bursting at the seams with tourists, everyone is thinking in terms of Summer lets - a very lucrative business indeed, with people paying thousands of euros for their holiday rentals.

Frustrated at not being able to come up with a concrete plan, we started thinking in terms of buying.  The market here is quite depressed - British buyers are scarce, as the exchange rate is somewhat unfavourable at the moment, and many foreigners in general are being deterred by President Holland's threat of a holiday home tax for overseas owners.  It's a good time to buy here as a result - we reckon that a small village house could be picked up for less than €200K.  Could we beg/borrow/scrape together enough cash to buy a small place, live in it for the year and then make the decision as to whether we would move here permanently?  The small place could then be either resold or kept as a house we would let out.  We looked at a couple of very nice little houses, did the sums as best we could, but we really needed to find out what our home in Ireland was worth before we could proceed.

A phone call to an Estate Agent later, and we had received the devastating news - with the Irish property crash, our home has dropped in value by 60%.  We still have some equity in it, but now IS NOT the time to think about selling, and it looks like things won't pick up for several years.

Crestfallen, fearing that our vision of even a year in Provence was disappearing, we decided to take the afternoon off and forget about houses for a while.  We set off towards the Lac d'Esparron, planning a walk, a picnic and a paddle.

DRIIIING DRIIIING!  LSH's phone - it was R, the owner of La Belle Cour.

"Have you guys found a house yet?  We've got the perfect place for you - J is thinking about renting her place for a year!"

Well, we know J's house - it's beautiful!  It's a good 8km outside of Céreste, though - there would be no more strolling down to the Café de France for LSH's mid morning coffee.  A small price to pay, we agreed, so there we have it - we're coming back at the start of October to live in a tiny hamlet called Les Granons for a year.  We have two and a half months to tidy up our house in Cork and find a tenant.

ARGGGGH!

Les Granons (Photo credit Mark Guerrini)

And the horses?

Watch this space!